The year is 2020. No sooner than Australia had rallied in the wake of a monumental fire season, a mysterious (and unfriendly!) virus forced the country into a state of semi-lockdown. The majority of the Australian people have opted to stay indoors, where they can remain safe from this new threat and wile away the hours by wondering whether or not it’s OK to go to the café (hint: probably not) and counting how many rolls of toilet paper they’ve hoarded.
But there is one thing that can help us through these uncertain, stay-at-home times. That one thing is movie(s). Lots and lots and lots of movies. Did you know that the average Australian would only need to watch (on average) 576 movies to get through the next two months without ever taking their eyes off the screen? This isn’t a list of 576 movies, but it is a start. And all you need to access it is a smart TV and an internet connection. Bliss.
1. Lord of the Rings
Number of movies in franchise: 3
Essentially Harry Potter for adults, Lord of the Rings is quite honestly one of the best franchises anyone has ever made (and one of the best-selling novels ever written). It follows a young Hobbit named Frodo as he seeks to return a ring, safely, to whence it came. Chaos (and adventure!) ensue, and before long little Frodo finds himself in the midst of a three-movie franchise (six if you count The Hobbit franchise) that has a total running time of 14 hours and eight minutes, which is a very good length of time for waiting out a pandemic.
2. Mad Max
Number of movies in franchise: 4
Good for a few reasons, the first being that it is an Australian franchise, and you should always, where possible, support Australian things. The whole thing is set in a dystopian future, which is also pretty relatable (lol), and follows an Australian police officer as he navigates a societal collapse, due in part to critical resource (not toilet paper) shortages. It’s very entertaining, and by the time you get to Fury Road, Mel Gibson gets upgraded into Tom Hardy who, while quite short, is one of the most handsome men alive.
3. Harry Potter
Number of movies in franchise: 10
If sheer time spent watching movies is your aim, look no further than the world’s favourite dorky wizard. This little lot clocks in at a whopping 1180 minutes, or 19.6 hours, meaning that if you started watching at 4am you wouldn’t finish until 11:40pm. Rotten Tomatoes reckons The Deathly Hallows (Part 2), The Prisoner of Azkaban, and The Goblet of Fire are the best ones, but to be honest you need to watch them in order for it all to make sense anyway, so you might as well watch from the start.
Number of movies in franchise: 16 (including spin-offs)
Bruce Wayne! Batman! The Joker! PENGUIN! This franchise began life in 1989 with the eponymous release, before blossoming into a full-blown franchise tour-de-force over the following three decades. Aside from the core Batman output, you also have a slew of spin-off titles too, like Mask of the Phantasm (an animated movie), Batman vs. Superman, Suicide Squad and, most recently, Joker.
5. Marvel Universe
Number of movies in franchise: 23
Not one for the faint of heart, the Marvel Universe compromises some 22 films that will take a gigantic 50 hours to watch. From Iron Man, to Deadpool, The Incredible Hulk, Ant Man, The Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Thor: Ragnarok and everything else between – there is no shortage of hours to be wasted on this little (big) bunch of superheroes. Most remarkably, they were all released in a little over a decade. Phew.
6. Carry On
Number of movies in franchise: 31
If you’ve made it this far, you may well be on track to kill more time than anyone in human history. This English comedy series clocks in at a whopping 31 segments, from Carry on Sergeant released way back in 1958, all the way up to 1992’s Carry on Columbus. If you’re a fan of innuendo (and who isn’t?) this one’s for you. This franchise will set you back an estimated 40 hours and three minutes. Buckle up.
7. James Bond
Number of movies in franchise: 25
As well as being very good at saving the world, defeating baddies and hooking up with attractive women, James Bond is also very good at making movies. From 1962’s Dr. No right up to 2015’s Spectre, 007 has sucked what must be millions of hours from people’s lives. He has entertained a slew of different directors and actors during his illustrious career, and we have been entertained in the process. And despite tallying six less runs on the board than the Carry On franchise, His canon will take you two days, four hours and 56 minutes to watch in its entirety, which we don’t necessarily recommend, but we also don’t not recommend either. These are weird times, after all.
If you’ve smashed out all these movie titles, check out our other suggestions here, you might even pick up a tip or two.